Some people will laugh as soon as they read the word “Happy Marriage Life”, they will think that these are all fairy tales. Then some people will see over loving scenes in front of their eyes.
However, it is reasonable because the perception of marriage in the society is created either by silly jokes, by one sided story of someone’s unhappy married life and by baseless exaggerated story shown in movies and serials.
Every third message or reals coming in the social media is seen to have a negative sarcasm on the marriage life.
Is marriage life really so negative? Alas, even so, can we really beautify such a strong and necessary system?
What will we pass on to the next generation?
Based on my experience as a psychologist, the new generation has a lot of negative beliefs about marriage. which he has seen, heard or experienced. For them, marriage is not a celebration but more of a danger kind of event. Worryingly, the marriage system is beginning to break down in many parts of the world. It is being replaced by distorted relationships, convenient relationships or temporary experimental relationships.
Now let’s talk about another aspect of marriage life or relationship.
Just as in a showcases things are beautifully decorated but in a warehouse the same things are placed as they are, so there is a distinction in between the married life on display to the outside world and the married life in the bedroom or at home. If the marriage life shared with the outside world in social media is in fact not a problem but sadly it is limited to show only.
Just like showing off is more fun than using an iPhone, similarly people have a wavering fun of showing off the married life which is actually meant to be enjoyed. Perhaps we are more interested in making marriage life look good than making it good. Which in my opinion shows a weak mentality.
No matter how beautifully you garnish a tasteless dish, in the end it will remain only tasteless.
From the pre-wedding shoot of the new generation to the social media posts and statuses of the 30s something generation, they often seem like garnishes on a tasteless dish.
So let us talk about some really practical and necessary recipes to make this dish delicious. If these things are present in our married life then it can truly be called “Happy Marriage Life”.
1) The joy of helping each other
We are people who do not tired of worshiping Rama and Sita as idols but when it comes to showing their love or devotion in practice, we feel that God is only there to be worshipped. The responsibility of making our life happy is God’s and not ours.
Recently an Indian client based abroad wanted to consult with me before marriage. After listening to them, I felt that these people want to start a company with a partnership, not to get married.
A balanced distribution of household and outdoor work. Like, to have a baby or not? If yes then, how to take responsibility for raising him or her, cleaning the house, cooking or bringing ready meals? Sharing the work of washing clothes etc. was involved.
It is true that marriage is a shared responsibility but should it be made professional and calculated to this extent? Where does our Ram Sita go at such a time!
Many wives or husbands are always complaining
Most of the responsibility is on me.
There is a lot of work..
That’s all I do..etc…
If we loose our position in doing each other’s work…
If you are tired of doing each other’s work…
If other family members are averse to work other than husband or wife, I think we are not yet mature enough to get married.
A sign of a happy marriage life is the joy of doing each other’s work.
How can my work bring happiness to his or her face!
How we keep each other’s family dealings with a smiling face!
Having this kind of spirit is a sign of a truly happy married life.
2) Talk and Laughter
According to me, for a successful and happy marriage, both the husband and wife must become friends. Because the tag like husband and wife has a social emphasis, there seems to be a seriousness. When friendships are unencumbered. There is lots of talking and lots of laughter. We talk a lot with friends, joke, but don’t think our partner is worthy enough to open up and laugh with him.
A married life that does not have sweet and sour jokes, jokes made on each other, comments made by the partner and cannot be taken lightly, the married life becomes boring.
A husband and wife who do not take time to talk to each other, then they have to talk to other people.
A common complaint of most people who come to see me is that their partner does not open up or listen enough to them.
Laughter and talk deepen the friendship between the two.
In place of which, at present, misrepresenting small things, misrepresenting, debating in the name of talk and just talking about work.
Husbands say jobs or business takes away most of the time, wives say housework, children (or jobs) takes away my time.
When such people become attracted to or have an affair with a third person, that person becomes everything
It robs away his or her time. This is a stark reality.
3- Physical Flirting
There is a natural attraction between man and woman. Physical attraction is also the strongest attraction among them. As long as this physical attraction is not replenished from time to time, there remains an excitement, an excitement, an awkwardness within both.
However, it is not just about sex.
From holding each other’s hands to putting hands on shoulders, body touching while walking around the house, hugging , kissing, laying head in lap, massaging each other’s body, all these body gestures satisfy physical attraction. Any of these gestures need to be done daily.
As a part of the social system, only one relationship is recognized to satisfy this physical attraction and that is the relationship of husband and wife, i.e. marriage.
Nowadays, the poses in which photos are taken to be updated in social media, are these types of poses or physical touches done daily, in closed door at home?
Can you do this at home as well as pose for a photo while holding each other nicely at a good location?
The way we snap a photo looking into each other’s eyes for a romantic pose, the same way we stare at each other on the couch or bed at home?
Do we sit on the sofa at home like we sit next to each other on a two wheeler?
If all these gestures are done daily in the closed doors of the house, then 90% of the problems in our married life will stop arising.
4- Words for each other
As discussed earlier, childish and vulgar jokes about marriage are an insult to marriage and husband-wife relationship. To cast a negative, yellowing and burdensome relationship which is responsible for creating the future of the world is like cutting a branch on which you seat.
A sign of a happy marriage life is loving and encouraging words from husband and wife to each other.
It is a sign of a happy married life if a husband and wife can praise or encourage each other both indoors and in public in the presence of other people.
Instead of putting each other down.
You don’t know anything…
You do not understand this…
You have no intelligence…
I am tired of you…
Such words can never bring happiness in married life.
Even by mistake, one should not use bad words about each other nor allow others to do so.
5- Impressed and Respect
An eternal truth of happy married life is to understand that a wife who is not impressed by his husband or the husband cannot impress her and a wife who cannot be respected by her husband or she is not worthy of respect is not really mature enough to marry. . It can be said that husband and wife lack common sense.
Because the foundation of this relationship requires elements like attraction, association, cooperation. In which the husband tries to develop himself according to the choice and needs of his wife and the wife can develop her personality traits according to the nature and needs of her husband, then the relationship can flourish to the fullest.
Love can blossom in it.
It retains warmth.
Keep the attraction intact.
Finally, let’s once again understand that a woman should be impressed by a man and a man should feel like respecting a woman.
Lifeline Wellness
Counselling Psychologist
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Note – This article is translated from Gujarati language to English by AI
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